Food Should Taste Bland, Cost More, Say Law Students
Wow, you guys, look at all the pretty colours! Do you know what is in those delightful boxes? Satisfying sugar, mouthwatering fat, and tangy, zesty salt!
Pro Bono Radio is proposing to eliminate all that stuff from your diet, despite the fact that sugar gives you energy to play sports, fat insulates your nerve tissue so you can do math homework, and salt is important to rehydrate your body after taking unusual tablets and dancing to electro music!
SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS
When I vaccinate my son all eyes on me!
I vaccinate my daughter at her pre-school for free
If you morally object get the &$%# out my school.
If you morally object the government should just force you to.
We like MMR!
We like HPV!
SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS!
Wait, what was that part about the government forcing you to give your kids shots? They can’t do that can they? It’s my right as a parent to object on moral grounds. Vaccinations give kids ADHD or something, right?
Maybe they should. Vaccinations may cause your child to have a developmental disorder (ed: although I doubt it), but not vaccinating your kids will for sure give everyone polio and smallpox. Right?
Pro Bono radio here, folks. It’s easy to get emotional about vaccination. In this week’s super episode, we discover some interesting facts: Conscientious objections to immunization is a bipartisan issue.
One of your hosts will not be sending their kids to the same pre-school as the rest of them. Which one? You’ll have to listen to find out!
A Maserati Chasing An Ambulance (The Public Perception of Lawyers, Part I)
Why, listener. Why do they hate us so?
Perhaps the public would appreciate lawyers more if they were all involved in a public service as important as Pro Bono Radio. A service that provides the public with such a great education about legal issues of Today, Yesterday, Tomorrow, and Probably Never.
It’s no secret that the public are not in love with lawyers. The public perception of the usefulness of lawyers, especially courtroom lawyers, continues to be positive than Deer Ticks and Ulcerative Colitis, but we are nowhere close to the levels of support enjoyed by Dirty Dishes, Carbon Monoxide, and Serial Killers.
Lawyers have feelings too, though. If you prick us, do we not
docket you for the time we spent finding a bandaid in cupboard above the sink in employee washroom at the Sunoco, that we snuck into, erm, bleed?
And if you don’t believe me about those feelings, have a listen to the ones on display in this fine episode, that is also the swan song of long time Pro Bono Radio figurehead Jordan Sewell, who is now a real, gen-yu-wine lawperson.
This Episode May Contain Traces of Nuts or Soy
Here at Pro Bono Radio, we know a thing or two about warnings! Did you know, for instance, that we are not real lawyers, and we do not dispense legal advice on this show? Of course you did because we can’t bloody shut up from warning you about it.
But there are clearly some other instances in which the public is not adequately warned about the nature or quality of the goods they buy or dangers in their other surroundings. Consider the following examples, then check out this week’s show!
Canadian Capers (Nonpareil Variety)
Could there possibly be not one, but THREE capers that are more Canadian than the ones topping the delicious B.C. smoked Sockeye Salmon you see below? We respectfully submit, yes.
We mean capers as in crimes, of course. And we are not of course speaking of very heinous crimes involving either large numbers of charges or dollars swindled or people hurt, otherwise this would be a show about Alan Eagleson and Conrad Black and Clifford Olson, and while possibly very informative, it would also not contain many jokes and possibly a good deal of open weeping.
So instead, Lisa, Paul and Matt bring you a show about crimes that strike at the heart of Canadian culture and identity, though again, in an amusing as opposed to overwhelming tragic manner. Unlike, say, Residential Schools.
All together now!